5 Common Confidence Mistakes Women Make

We all know those familiar, frustrating feelings. We're afraid to speak up at a meeting because we aren't sure what we have to say is perfect. And then a few minutes later, a male colleague says exactly what we had in mind.

We think too much. Women are much more likely than men to ruminate. Excessive examination actually inhibits confidence because it can keep women from taking action. Consider this: You're debating whether to recommend a course of action at work. It's a tough call, and you dig in to examining both sides in-depth. But your examination takes so long, that you start to lose your ability to make a decision. Frozen, you decide not to weigh in at all.

We believe failure is a failure. Failing is actually cool now. Fail fast is a hot tech buzz phrase. In today's business climate, failing means you've been willing to try, to get in the game. And it means you've learned.

We carry criticism around with us far too long. We have to learn to toughen our hides, as Hillary Clinton said last week. Imagining that the rest of the world, or your boss, or whomever, is still focused on that thing involving you is not only a waste of time, but a confidence killer.

We never leave our comfort zones. Confidence comes from risk-taking, but we are too determined to be perfect.
We don't speak up, and too often, we use upspeak. It's a habit we know you'll recognize, raising the tone of your voice at the end of a sentence in a way that suggests a question rather than a declaration. Try these: "I think we should go with the on-line marketing strategy." "I think we should go with the online marketing strategy?" One professor told us he thinks women use upspeak in an effort to seek approval. Lose the questioning tone, and boost your confidence.